you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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