Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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