The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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