what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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