Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
