Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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