Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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