Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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