just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
