im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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