apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We had sex on a dog bed..
Come share oat with me in your robe
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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