"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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