Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize