I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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