Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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