Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
