Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
