I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
