i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
