i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
