is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
