I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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