ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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