is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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