I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
