I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
