his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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