the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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