How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
