Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
did you just send me my own nude
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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