i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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