help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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