Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
