so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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