Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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