just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
