he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it's like heaven, but drunker
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
where are my eyebrows?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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