babies were throwing up all over the place
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
