i just wanna soil my oats bro
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
