Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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