yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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