After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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