please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
