ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
