"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
