Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
