Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
