And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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