why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
