Cold hands, warm shart.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
