Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
