Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
