He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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