he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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