you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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