I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
