Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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