I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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