Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize