I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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